Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Long Overdue Post - Yikes 5+ months into 2014!

Dear Friends!
Wow, where does the time go?  I can't believe my last post was over 5 months ago!  Honestly, 2014 has not really gone the way I would have hoped for. :(  Towards the end of 2013 I had really gotten off track with my weight loss goals and was in the deep darkness of peri-menopause and hormones, binge eating, and sliding back into a depressive state.  I just couldn't seem to pull myself out of it and get things going again on the right track.  I would take 2 steps forward and 10 back.  I was up about 40 lbs from last October.  Just when I'd get a few good days of eating and exercise under my belt, BAM - I was hit with the most intense severe neck pain and spasms.  Over the course of 4 days it went from a pinched nerve to complete lockdown of my neck.  I was in horrendous pain fueled by heightened anxiety that this was it...... It was all coming down to this - time for neck surgery and I was no where ready for this!  I ended up at Urgent Care where they gave me some IV pain meds.  I immediately had a reaction and started vomiting.  I was now immensely uncomfortable.  After several hours, they seemed to get it calmed down and I went home on pain killers and muscle relaxants.  Well, the next morning Matt had already gone to work and I was dying in worse pain.  I thought to all heck I had slipped a disk in my neck, as I had no movement.  I called 911 and oh boy, that was not fun. :(  When you are in considerable pain, an ambulance ride is NOT the way to go!!  After several hours in the ER, they couldn't get the pain controlled so they admitted me to the hospital.  I spent the next 3 days in the hospital on Morphine, Percocet, steroids, Valium, you name it I was on it.  I was shocked how much it was taking to get rid of my pain.  I finally was discharged and stayed home the next several days recovering.  It took a bit longer to get off the Percocet then I had hoped.  NOW I know how one can become addicted!  It's not so much that I needed the pills anymore, it was when I tried to go without them I had horrible withdrawal symptoms - profuse sweating, massive anxiety, creepy crawlies on me, and intense frenetic energy where I just paced around the house for hours.  Ugh!!  Well, things finally seemed to calm down for a few weeks.  I went back to WW, started to walk some, but still wasn't 100% committed.  I couldn't shake this mild depression and hormone issues.

Until BAM, yep, another setback!  At this point I was truly asking who the heck did I piss off?!  I was having bad stomach pains for about 4 days and I finally dragged myself to urgent care over Memorial Day weekend.  You see, I really do despise urgent care as I end up spending an entire freaking day there!  When I went in, I thought it could perhaps be a bout of diverticulitis but I wasn't completely sure.  The dr. immediately said "No", probably a female thing.  So, they did an ultrasound and he said they had seen some mild fluid so it was most likely a ruptured ovarian cyst, and to go home and come back if it got worse.  Well, 3 more days go by and it is WAY worse!!  I can't take it anymore so I end up back at Urgent Care.  I told my boss I would be in a little late that day. :)  Well, they did a CT Scan and I get the wonderful news that not only is it diverticulitis but it now has an abscess!!  I was mad!!  I was soo angry that if this had been caught the first time, it most likely wouldn't have progressed to this.  Well, now I was being admitted to the hospital (AGAIN!) for IV antibiotics and a possible procedure.  I was soo not happy about this whole thing.  I was in the hospital for 3 days on IV Levaquin, Cipro, and Flagyl.  About Day 2 the pain was going away, but then the lovely side effects of the antibiotics massively hit.  UGH!!!!!!  They did a repeat scan on the 3rd day and saw that the abscess was improving so they weren't going to need to do a procedure.  THANK GOD!!!!  I was discharged on a liquid diet, antibiotics, and follow up appointments with a GI and surgeon.  Yep, a surgeon. :(

I met with the surgeon and she highly recommended surgery.  Not what I wanted to hear.  This will not be a fun surgery (are they ever?!)  I will spare you the details but they have to remove a large piece of my colon and re-hook things back up.  If I don't have this done, it could mean having these diverticulitis episodes often and eventually it would become emergent and/or the antibiotics would stop working.  I was also coming to realize myself that this was no way to continue living.  Never knowing when it would hit, and when it did hit, being down for 2 weeks at a time.  Soooo, the surgery has been scheduled for August 27th.  I'm praying I can stay well until then.  And praying even harder things go well.  I will be in the hospital for a week and then at home recovering for 3-5 weeks and off of work.  I'm hoping I can start working from home at week 4.

Meanwhile, I've had to re-focus my attention and efforts on losing weight, eating healthy, and exercising.  It certainly hasn't been easy, as my body freaking hurts this time around.  Lots of aches and pains.  I'm trying to take one day at a time, stay positive, and not freak out about things.  What good will that do?! :)  Work is insanely busy right now too, so I'm trying to balance that load and manage my health.  My biggest bummer is that I haven't had the opportunity to catch up with or see many of you lately!!  Please know that you are always on my mind and I think about you often, even if I am unable to call or see you.  I immensely appreciate all of your calls, emails, posts, and check-ins.  Thank you for your friendship and it means the world to me!!  My hope is that once I am through this, I can in-turn then be a better friend and share more in your lives.  I'm ready for this 2014 to turn around!

I hope you are doing well and please drop me a note if you get a chance.  I love hearing how you are doing and what is new!  I certainly hope your 2014 has been a much better year so far!

With love and friendship,